When we finally get to the Medical centre I put my hand on Cafe’s forehead. It feels like she has a temperature. She mumbling incoherently it feels as if she is burning up. How many hours has it taken to traverse the rutted water swollen territory to get to the Nairobi Mombassa road? I feel suddenly cold with fear.
Reaching into my trouser pockets to look at the time I discoverI my mobile phone is gone. I look up at the moon now high in the sky and shiver.
Dr Ahmed has just completed his notes on a particularly difficult case of ingrowing toe nails. He sighs and decides that he must schedule an urgent operation. The Gangrene must be nipped in the bud.
Hearing a squeal of breaks and urgent shouts below he looks up and goes to the window. Looking down he sees a commotion in the Medical Centre entrance. A Safari truck with a body is being lowered on a stretcher. He suddenly remembers he is on night duty and rushes down the stairs.
It’s clever how you manage to incorporate all our Group Work into your book! It’s clear the narrator’s concern for Cafe is genuine, giving credence to the developing emotional relationship between the two people. You begin with the point of view of Cafe’s friend, switch to the doctor’s experience and end with how the situation began, from the doctor’s point of view. It’s well thought out in a short time!