I’d never been to court before,

Never seen the majesty of law,

Now here I sit to see the wife, who ruled full forty years of my life,

Arrested, standing head bowed in dock

Guilty of stealing food from stock

A woman of good character says the Judge,’

I know better, she’s made my life a drudge.

‘Whatever possessed her to steal,’ says his Honour,

‘Moments of madness must have come upon her,

‘Seven cans of peaches had been her main haul,

Plus a few extra bits, that was all.’

The Judge in his wisdom gave forth his decree,

‘I must make an example of you don’t you see?

Seven Cans of peaches you’ll serve seven days inside

One pint of milk – one other day beside.

Two days for two loaves – let this be a lesson,

Ten days it will be , before you leave prison.’

I couldn’t bear to see her sentenced ten days out of hand,

I jumped to my feet I had to yell and stand,

‘Your honour, ten items for ten days- oh your honour please

She also took loads and loads of loose frozen peas.’

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