It’s an Ill Wind

“It’s an east wind again today.” Observed Ethel.

“I know, I’ve had to keep all my windows shut because of the stench.” Agreed Doris

“Perhaps we need to talk to George about it, I’m certain he doesn’t do it on purpose.”

The two neighbours were standing outside the butchers looking keenly at the display of meat for sale.  They chatted for a bit longer before separating and going about their daily routine.

George, up at the farm was oblivious to the fact that his habit of storing the pig’s liquid manure above ground, instead of in underground pits, was causing the village so much consternation.

He couldn’t smell the vile odour which knocked most people prostrate on the ground with one whiff.  An accident several years ago, meant that his sense of smell had been totally lost.  He never really missed it, especially as most smells on a farm are unpleasant, he took the loss as an advantage.

When Ethel’s phone rang later that afternoon, disturbing her 40 winks, with its shrill sound.

“I’ve had an idea about George.” Doris announced gleefully.  “A way we can make him realise how awful the smell is”

The two friends made plans, hoping that the outcome would be favourable for them and all the other villagers.  The next day they met up near to the farm and waited patiently for George to arrive at the pig barn.  As soon as George went inside, they rushed over to the door and put the bar across, effectively imprisoning the farmer inside with his beloved pigs.

“A couple of hours in there, with that terrible pong should make him realise the error of his ways.”  The two ladies left the farm and made their way home, intending to come back later that morning.

Just before lunch, Doris and Ethel strolled along the lane to George’s farm.  When they went round the bend, they could see the farm in front of them.  There were two police cars, an ambulance and Dr. Foster’s car outside.  The two friends looked puzzled at each other and continued to approach the farm.

“What’s happened?” They asked the young policeman standing outside the barn door.

“We not really sure yet” replied the policeman.  “It appears that George got accidentally locked in the barn.”  He bent down and whispered to the ladies “Trouble is, them pigs was mighty ravenous.  Not much left of poor old George now.”

404 words – Sandy Bryson